When your loved one is spiritually and emotionally ill, addicted, or demoralized, your love cannot save them. When your loved one doesn’t love themselves, your love cannot save them. When they are drowning in a sea of their self-created crisis, your love cannot save them.
When we move forward in damaged relationships despite a lack of repair, they become toxic. Toxic relationships are not the result of one or more people being inherently bad or toxic, they are born from a lack of repair in a relationship that leads to toxic patterns.
Many of us stay long after realizing our relationship is destroying us — how to leave and why every part of you wants to stay…
It’s the constant battle between the head and the heart that makes you literally have no idea what is actually going on. You earnestly pray to know what is right. You search, but you are utterly confused. Then eventually, one day you figure out, without a doubt that you are indeed in a toxic and spirit crushing relationship.
When we talk about someone being used in a relationship, we usually think of it as a bad thing. Comments around people using people usually have negative connotations. No matter who you are or where your passion lies on the spectrum of human possibility, you have no reason to share your gifts, your work, or your ideas with the world — if no-one is going to use them. Being used isn’t bad. We all want to be used. What we don’t want is to be over-used, under-appreciated or under-compensated.