When we move forward in damaged relationships despite a lack of repair, they become toxic. Toxic relationships are not the result of one or more people being inherently bad or toxic, they are born from a lack of repair in a relationship that leads to toxic patterns.
If you have done any amount of honest reflection on yourself, life, and society as we know it, it is no secret that most of us were conditioned to doubt ourselves from a very young age. Of course, there will be anomalies, as is always in life. But for the rest of us, our life may have started off brimming with sunshine, but inevitably, we reached a point where people began sowing seeds of doubt in our minds and hearts.
We have been invited to grab ahold of a new idea that is gaining momentum. And as passionate as many of us are about decriminalization and ending the war on drugs, it is no surprise that someone came up with such a far-out proposal. It makes sense that this nonsensical idea would make sense to some people who have no real-life experience with addiction. But to anyone who has treaded the waters of opiate addiction, it is a baffling idea to consider.
We must admit that these displaced urban communities are so powerful that they control the lives of every person who lives there. This is true regardless of skin color. I do not highlight this to prove that all colors suffer but to demonstrate the power of gentrification.
The fuel to the fire of systemic racism is and has always been division and separation. For over 300 years they have worked methodically to divide us. They have executed long-term plans over hundreds of years in order to keep us separate. They created the terms ‘black’ and ‘white’.
Just like slavery and segregation, rape culture has been rewrapped in a new paper, with a new and shiny bow. That bow helps us sleep at night. But underneath that paper is the same old ugly thing. The New Rape Culture is working seamlessly. It leaves its victims powerless and alone.
It took me 20 years to realize that when he carried me from the toilet to my bed, covered in vomit from over-intoxication, it was rape. It took me 20 years to realize that, at the age of 15, I was a child.
As far back as we can remember, perceived ugliness and misconduct of this world has been blamed on women. Women have been oppressed, abused, raped and silenced for hundreds of years.
A great many writers, musicians and creators do not practice what they preach but preach what they wish to practice. That is not good or bad, but it is just the way it is. It does not discount their message.
Because we do not want to look at the ugly side of our heroes, we put away the sides of them and the facts of their existence that we find undesirable.
Developing the ability to be soft and strong is truly an art. It is a gift, a talent, and a superpower. However, it takes a little longer for others to accept and understand because it is so different. People have a hard time comprehending that someone can be two seemingly opposite things at the same time. As humans, we are inclined to place people in either one category or another. We have what one of my favorite authors, Jen Sincero, likes to call the “either-or syndrome”. Soft or strong, good or bad, creative or responsible, the list goes on.