Maybe there was a fire and you barely got out in time. Or maybe, you got T-boned at an intersection and as that car slammed into you in slow motion, your life flashed before your eyes. Some people have drowned and survived. Many have gone to war. Some victims of abuse face fear of death or severe harm on a daily basis. The list goes on.
The anonymous nature of 12-step programs, coupled with blind loyalty towards esteemed members, has created an environment where sexual predators abuse their community-given authority to prey upon vulnerable people — people who are desperately running into the rooms looking for someone to help them save their life.
When we talk about someone being used in a relationship, we usually think of it as a bad thing. Comments around people using people usually have negative connotations. No matter who you are or where your passion lies on the spectrum of human possibility, you have no reason to share your gifts, your work, or your ideas with the world — if no-one is going to use them. Being used isn’t bad. We all want to be used. What we don’t want is to be over-used, under-appreciated or under-compensated.