The truth is, you could do everything right and still relapse. And you can find all the mistakes that you believe led to your relapse, but you will never know for certain if changing these things would have prevented it.
In order to understand addiction and the way it has been allowed to consume so many American lives, you must understand that addicts use when they don’t want to.
We have been invited to grab ahold of a new idea that is gaining momentum. And as passionate as many of us are about decriminalization and ending the war on drugs, it is no surprise that someone came up with such a far-out proposal. It makes sense that this nonsensical idea would make sense to some people who have no real-life experience with addiction. But to anyone who has treaded the waters of opiate addiction, it is a baffling idea to consider.
Just like slavery and segregation, rape culture has been rewrapped in a new paper, with a new and shiny bow. That bow helps us sleep at night. But underneath that paper is the same old ugly thing. The New Rape Culture is working seamlessly. It leaves its victims powerless and alone.
It took me 20 years to realize that when he carried me from the toilet to my bed, covered in vomit from over-intoxication, it was rape. It took me 20 years to realize that, at the age of 15, I was a child.
Many people spend their lives blaming others and circumstances for their chronic unhappiness. You don’t have to be one of them. You can release the role of the victim, the betrayed and the abandoned. Stop using your painful past to vindicate the imperfections that don’t need an explanation. Being human is your gift to this world. The moment you embrace this, you can move forward with grace and dignity. You can become the victor.
She may not have it beat yet, but she would, the mother told herself. She knew she would find the solution — she just hadn’t yet. She knew she could get better, she just wasn’t better yet. As squelched were the screams of her soul, there was something she could hear. No, she couldn’t hear her soul at all. But this she could feel.
Jillian’s peers had made it out like the world ended when you used any substance, but the world hadn’t ended at all. In fact, it felt exactly the same. She still had no desire to use it and was looking forward to doing step work with Jen that evening. Even more, after the magic of last night, she was looking forward to it more than the day before.
When she had first arrived to the rooms, one of the first things Jillian heard was that she had to change her people, places and things. Which made sense because like they always say, “If you keep going to the barbershop, you are going to get a haircut.” But when her old friend Sarah called, she was delighted to hear from her. Sarah wasn’t around during the years Jillian spent curled up into a miserable ball at the feet of addiction.
She was 16 years old when she shot dope for the first time. Drugs had never been around much for most of her childhood, but she had been dating this mega-hot senior, and she was head over heels.